Remember You’re a Parent

Posted on December 17, 2018

Separated parents squabbling over who gets to spend time with their children over Christmas are advised to resolve disputes before the festive season.

Although your relationship with your partner has ended it is important to remember that you are both still parents.

Application to courts from parents trying to make arrangements for contact with their children need the couple to show evidence that they have tried to resolve issues themselves through mediation except in urgent cases or those involving harm or abuse.

“Christmas can be a very difficult time for families that are separated or divorced and this can take a huge toll on the children involved”, says Pamela Walsh, Family Solicitor for Pearson Solicitors and Financial Advisers.

“We advise the parents we support, to consider practical compromises, to make sure the children aren’t caught in the cross-fire and to try to remember that the festive period is mainly for children to enjoy, rather than for parents to try to score points.

“Try to remember there will be other Christmases, or other holidays to have special time with children,” said Mrs Walsh. “Although Christmas Eve and Christmas Day can be magical times for children, they would much prefer spending relaxed time with both parents over the school holidays sooner than being at the centre of rows if parents try to split time on the basis of what the adults may perceive as fair."

Pamela gives a few tips on how to amicably get through the Christmas period:-

Be the best parent you can be rather than resorting to confrontation, criticism or manipulation
Moving on is important. Address any issues related to your separation or divorce instead of hanging onto to anger or hurt
If you’re finding it difficult to talk to your partner try a more business-like approach
Address the other parent with respect particularly in front of the children
Practise restraint and avoid reacting when you feel angry
Give the other parent notice of any issues before you handover

Please note that the information and opinions contained in this article are not intended to be comprehensive, nor to provide legal advice. No responsibility for its accuracy or correctness is assumed by Pearson Solicitors and Financial Advisers Ltd or any of its members or employees. Professional legal advice should be obtained before taking, or refraining from taking, any action as a result of this article.

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